What do you do when the person that you love says they don’t love you in the same way?
Well, first you cry because your heart that was so very open is probably beginning to shut down…but if you put your hands on your heart and breathe…feel everything…then allow yourself to stay open…something amazing happens…you can begin to heal in that moment. Remind your heart how much you much you love it and that you are going to be ok. You are safe and you are loved.
Begin to bring yourself back from them and into you. This means breathing your energy, that had been flowing so strongly to this other person back into your own body and then returning their energy back to them. This is not always easy…The comforting feeling of your lovers energy probably feels like home…you think that if you let go of this energy this person and this feeling of loving home will be lost to you forever…but it’s not true.
The people you have loved…all of them…are always going to be connected to you. You can cut a million energy cords and do many rituals to try to stop thinking of them, but in the end we are all connected, all of us. Some of us share stronger bonds than others, but all of us are connected by threads of love that might be turned down, but they never go away.
The main thing to remember during this time is that you are not alone. The loneliness that you might feel is your own self thinking that if this person doesn’t love you, that you are not worthy of love. It is your job as caretaker of your beautiful body and soul to now nurture this being of love called You. You need to take over the role of lover now. You need to love and nurture this lovely one and let her know that you believe in her worth. You believe she is good enough, strong enough and worthy of love. Tell her all of the things she was wanting to hear from the other person…give her the soft touches and comfort of love that she has been craving. You know her better than anyone else…take this time to show her how to stay open to love…even during this time when love seems like it is going away, remind her that it is still right here…it might not be easy, but you can do this. You can begin to establish a loving relationship with you again.
In loving another we often lose our sense and love of self, but during this vulnerable time when the heart is most open you can use it to go deeper in a loving relationship with yourself. Listen to loving music and sing yourself love songs. Take yourself out on dates. Dance with yourself. Allow your hands to loving feel your entire body, like a lover would, from head to toe and awaken your body’s energy. Breathe into the places that are unfeeling and invite them to feel again. This is all part of reminding yourself that you are safe and you are loved whether you have a partner or not. This relationship that you have with your body is the first and last relationship you will ever have so you might as well make it a good one.
It takes courage to keep an open heart when it seems like love is going away, but if you love yourself…truly love yourself like you would a lover…then it will be an easier transition and maybe you might find that the love you thought was going away…never actually changed…but your relationship to you had…and now you have the gift of being able to open up to you again which will allow you to open up to an even greater love you had ever thought possible…
We hopped into the truck and we were off. But first the people who were taking us on this new leg of our journey needed to get paid from the organizers. So we went into town to meet up with them. As it turned out the money was not in the bank yet so we had to hold tight for the night. They put us up in the hotel they were staying at and we were able to have a proper shower and a nice bed to sleep in. We even recorded a video that night talking about our adventure so far. We walked into town that night to get some food and it was deserted…and then we realized…It was Christmas! Every once in a while we would see a big set up of toys for kids and we even saw this little boy in a tiny new kid car.
We got back to the room and had a sleep and then the next day we were on our way to Tulum. The person who owed them money was going to be there waiting for the money to come in, so we might as well just wait for it on the beach. We had already been to Tulum and quite honestly, we were glad to be back. The sands are white and warm and the water is warm, blue and beautiful.
The first night we were there Rob and I slept in a hammock together…now let me let tell you something…hammocks…they have never been my friend…I have never really had a relaxing rest in a hammock…and then here I was in this hammock with Rob…squished into a small half rounded hanging piece of fabric of mostly uncomfortableness…there was no making that hammock work for the both of us…and I love Rob and want to be with him and close to him all the time, but this was where even I drew the line… I remembered there was a hammock outside that a woman said someone could use if we needed it. I slide myself out of the hammock of torture and zipped myself up into the hammock with the mosquito netting outside…I was so very thankful for at least being able to stretch out for a little bit. (as much as you can in a hammock.)
The second day we went walking down the beach and on the way back that night we saw a big group of people and some flashing lights…
We got closer and saw that they all had brown shells on their ankles and they were doing a sacred ceremonial dance, holding hands and all went into the water and came out together. We were swept up in the dance that happened afterwards and we ended up standing in a big group of people. There was medicine man that was talking to everyone in Spanish, so I couldn’t make out everything, but from what I could make out he was saying that now that the energies of the planet have shifted, we need to remember to stay focused in love. We need to remind people to love one another and to stay in that loving energy. Together we will bring the world into a more loving space.
The money was taking longer than everyone thought and people were starting to get stressed out. The person who we were waiting on just wasn’t sure when it would come through, but his girlfriend came to check if we were doing OK. I told her that we were struggling a bit and she brought us some food and some raw cacao beans. I thought that was so sweet! I remembered her from the hotel we stayed at a couple of night’s previous. I remember having a really good talk with her and let her know that everything was going to be ok. That the festival had been really amazing for so many people and that eventually people would get paid and everything would sort itself out. I think she was glad to have someone be kind to her because there were many people a little freaked out about the money situation, but Rob and I really did have the most amazing time and we were very glad for the experience of it.
The next day we were on the road. We were going to go to a place called Palenque, where there was an event called the Rainbow Gathering happening. If we could get there we would have a free place to camp and we would also have free food to eat because everyone brings food to share. We would offer healing and share with people the things we learned from the Synthesis Gathering.
About an hour into our journey the guys who were driving us said that they needed to let us off in another location on the border of Belize because they needed to go through some check points and they weren’t quite sure what was going to happen when we got there…
Our next stop was Corresol….