What do you do when they don’t love you the same way?

What do you do when they don’t love you the same way?

What do you do when the person that you love says they don’t love you in the same way?

Well, first you cry because your heart that was so very open is probably beginning to shut down…but if you put your hands on your heart and breathe…feel everything…then allow yourself to stay open…something amazing happens…you can begin to heal in that moment. Remind your heart how much you much you love it and that you are going to be ok. You are safe and you are loved.

Begin to bring yourself back from them and into you. This means breathing your energy, that had been flowing so strongly to this other person back into your own body and then returning their energy back to them. This is not always easy…The comforting feeling of your lovers energy probably feels like home…you think that if you let go of this energy this person and this feeling of loving home will be lost to you forever…but it’s not true.

The people you have loved…all of them…are always going to be connected to you. You can cut a million energy cords and do many rituals to try to stop thinking of them, but in the end we are all connected, all of us. Some of us share stronger bonds than others, but all of us are connected by threads of love that might be turned down, but they never go away.

The main thing to remember during this time is that you are not alone. The loneliness that  you might feel is your own self thinking that if this person doesn’t love you, that you are not worthy of love. It is your job as caretaker of your beautiful  body and soul to now nurture this being of love called You. You need to take over the role of lover now. You need to love and nurture this lovely one and let her know that you believe in her worth. You believe she is good enough, strong enough and worthy of love. Tell her all of the things she was wanting to hear from the other person…give her the soft touches and comfort of love that she has been craving. You know her better than anyone else…take this time to show her how to stay open to love…even during this time when love seems like it is going away, remind her that it is still right here…it might not be easy, but you can do this. You can begin to establish a loving relationship with you again.

In loving another we often lose our sense and love of self, but  during this vulnerable time when the heart is most open you can use it to go deeper in a loving relationship with yourself.  Listen to loving music and sing yourself love songs. Take yourself out on dates. Dance with yourself. Allow your hands to loving feel your entire body, like a lover would, from head to toe and awaken your body’s energy. Breathe into the places that are unfeeling and invite them to feel again. This is all part of reminding yourself that you are safe and you are loved whether you have a partner or not. This relationship that you have with your body is the first and last relationship you will ever have so you might as well make it a good one.

It takes courage to keep an open heart when it seems like love is going away, but if you love yourself…truly love yourself like you would a lover…then it will be an easier transition and maybe you might find that the love you thought was going away…never actually changed…but your relationship to you had…and now you have the gift of being able to open up to you again which will allow you to open up to an even greater love you had ever thought possible…



Resort Life

Resort Life

The resort was a bird sanctuary. Many people would come there from all over the world to take pictures of these beautiful exotic birds. They gave our own cabana with a beautiful white cover and white drapes on windows. It had been something I had been dreaming about during our grungy camping days and here it was showing up in our lives…How does it get any better than that?

The next day we started our work. Rob was asked to help with the Organic farm they wanted to start and also helping with food preparation in the kitchen. I was helping with cleaning out the cabanas and doing laundry.

The people who ran this place had a string of people who were not good workers, so their hopes for us were somewhat low. They gave me a job of cleaning out this massive space without any assistance or guidance as to how they wanted it done. It took the whole day pretty much and after I was done I was pretty sure that I had made a mistake in choosing this life…

Each day I was to clean out another room and do more laundry. I was increasingly becoming more sad because what I really wanted to be doing was workshops or teleclasses. I wanted to be doing healing and coaching sessions with people, but I was here doing house cleaning. Rob enjoyed the farm work and the helping in the kitchen, but the days were long, we would start at 6:30am and not finish until 11pm after dinner clean up. Eventually we realized that this was not the place for us and I found us another place to volunteer close to the Guatemala border.