About Love

About Love

I got to talk to and see Rob on Skype today for 2 hours! It’s amazing how much that can lift my spirits. When we are together it’s like we have never been apart. It’s hard to be away from him, but knowing that I will see him again soon and being able to see and talk to him just makes it all so much better.

I have been a bit worried about my upcoming doctors appointment. I will get my test results back and then he will tell me what treatment I will need to start. The thing is, after talking to Rob I know that everything is going to be ok.

Love is such a tremendous feeling…I really do think that love can heal anything…It’s the love of another, but also the love of the self. I think that when someone loves you unconditionally it creates a safe space for you to love yourself. I think that is why so many people get so very sad when there is a break up…there is this reaction of…if this person doesn’t love me, I will never feel love again, not even for myself.

The love of another does make it easier for you to love you, but it’s not the only way. I found that taking the time to go through each of my body parts and saying ” I love you, I thank you and I appreciate you”,  helps to begin a conversation with the body and also allows the body to feel more comfortable with positive attention. Many of us never address our body unless we are upset at something not working correctly or the way we want it to and then we are often mean with our words and energy. By taking the time to appreciate each part of our body we are giving the body a chance to relax and let go into a space of unconditional love. The space of unconditional love is one of the most healing spaces you can be in. This is why animals and babies can be so uplifting and healing for the spirit, they have open and unconditionally loving hearts and just being in the presence of someone with an open heart can resonate enough to allow us to open our own hearts.

I am so in love with Rob. Just thinking about him makes me smile, but I also know that working on my own self love and and raising my vibration everyday is key to keeping our love alive. If you want a high vibrational relationship you have to be willing to put in the work and that work is mostly loving yourself. If you are in your own vortex of love your partner can’t help but love you. And if by some reason they aren’t in their vortex of love and can’t remember their own connection to love, if you stay in your loving vortex and vibration,  your connection will remind them of their own and they will start raising up to meet you.



The flight was long..I wasn’t really able to get much sleep…I don’t think I slept very much for a week actually.

But I finally landed and caught a cab to my mom’s place. My mom was very happy to see me and I was glad to be with her.
When I was at the airport a man mentioned that I should look up someone in Chicago that treats this sort of thing. Chicago is a major place for many things, someone has to know about it. I looked on line and found a specialist who is the director of the Rush Hospital Infectious Disease Center.

I called the next day and got an appointment the next day.  The doctor called me back actually which I found really amazing.  He was very nice and interested in my case.

My mom and I drove into the city the next day and the doctor confirmed that it was indeed Leish, but we had to get it tested and the next appointment for testing was in a week. He took a picture of it and sent me on my way.

That night my mom started to complain of pains on her side. She said that she might need to go to the hospital so we called the ambulance. That night she was admitted into the hospital.

For the next few days they ran test after test and in the end they sent her home because they just weren’t sure what the problem was.

Everyday I was holding space for my mom and also for Rob who has to take a bus and a train everyday round trip 3 hours to get his treatment. It’s been hard being away from Rob during all of this. I get emotional and sad and it’s not helpful for him…

My mom is home now, feeling better and we are working on a healthy way of eating and living.

Rob has 8 more days of treatment and is feeling tired.

I got tested last week and I find out what species of Leish I have on Thursday. My lesion is healing, which could be a good thing or not depending on what type of Leish I have. Basically if I have Mexicana it will heal on it’s own and I won’t need treatment and if I have Braziliana then I will need treatment. Rob has been getting treatment for it even though they don’t know what kind he has, but in America the CDC won’t release the medication unless the result comes back positive for the Brazillian species.

I have been up and down and have been very thankful for the love and support of all of my friends and family and Rob’s friends and family. I feel like we are supported and loved by so many.

Now all I have to do is start taking care of myself…It’s been easy to put all of my love and focus into Rob and my mom, but now it is time to turn within and start my own healing process….